Are you a procrastinator? I am. More than ever before.
In the past I have always had babies and pre-schoolers who kept me busy, often combined with volunteer work, paid work, and taking care of a large home and garden.
Since we moved to Adelaide last year my littlest son has started school, I am not working, and I am living in a much smaller home with a small garden. I have begun to feel that I am not achieving anything.
Certainly, it now can take all day to do something that I could previously do in half or one quarter of the time -- unless I put it off until tomorrow, that is.
I think I need to be busier. When I moved here I thought it would be wonderfully luxurious not to be busy every minute of every day. I was happy not to over-commit at first. But now I am itching for a project or a goal.
Why is it that busy people can always fit in one more thing, but non-busy people (like me at the moment) can barely stay awake? Yes, I am exaggerating, but you know what I mean.
I am looking (sporadically) for part-time work, but haven't found anything regular yet (or they haven't wanted me). And once we buy a home my life will again be filled with all the little tasks that home owners have to do.
In the meantime I fear I am turning into a sloth.
Are you a procrastinator? Or do you create goals and work for them wholeheartedly, never putting off for tomorrow what you could do today?
Is it ever acceptable not to be busy?
15 comments:
Hi
I have become a procrastinator due to ill health.
My health, for the last seven years, has been episodic so I haven't been able to get into a routine.
Then I thought 'What do I want to do before I die?' and my answer was 'Write a novel'.
So I wrote one and, during that process, got better at prioritising and managing my time.
Not sure if that helps but that was my experience.
All the best
Amber
I completely understand about trying to stay awake. It's the boredom. My job, while it has it's busy moments, is for the most part, extremely boring. I find myself yawning throughout the morning. Being at home is not much better. For years I looked after a large house with 4 kids, later only 2 kids, but all the cleaning, gardening, cooking involved kept me busy and involved. Now I have this small unit,I rarely clean, hubby doesn't let me garden since everything is in pots anyway, and I am bored.Not being busy is so much more tiring than being on the go from dawn till dusk.
I'm a bit of a procrastinator with things that aren't urgent ~ the floors can always wait another day. If I've made a commitment to a person, that's a whole other story.
What I learned about myself when Mr Busy started school, is that I do well with a mix of time at home and some time in the week being productively occupied by something worthwhile (to me). I hate being home all day long with no end in sight. At the same time I hate being so busy that I can't get the simplest of things done at home.
It took me a number of months to find the balance that suited me. You'll find your niche in time. But it does take some time to figure it out.
I think a lot of stay at home moms (like me) have a fear that we'll get all the work done and then won't be justified in what we do. It's a constant struggle to remind myself that it's actually okay to get all the work done. Think of all I could do with a bit of extra time after the work is done--quilting, learning to knit, gardening, canning, anything!
Hi Kate,
I always looked after the house, the kids and the garden and worked part time in our own business. It was a pretty busy time. Now the kids are older, one has moved out, and our business doesn't require as much of my time. Suddenly I have time on my hands. House work has slid down the priority scale. Its strange because I have more time but the house is messy than its ever been. I'm trying to get some routine back and have more productive days. Its sort of working.
Lynda
I'm usually busy with one thing or another, either work or craft or projects or research or cooking and then that pesky thing intrudes - called sleep lol.
I think I was once where you are now and I think I probably would have benefited with a schedule or a plan for day because most of the time I would get lost and bored and would accomplish nothing. Now I am busy and don't have enough time to accompish what I want to do:)
Hey, new background. Very nice.
Hi there,
I definitely think it's acceptable not to be busy. You don't need to be busy to justify your existence :).
I have a 7yr old and an 8 month old so at the moment idle time is pure luxury for me.
What is it that you would really like to be doing with your time?
All the best,
Hi, Child of the New Forest,
I would like to be doing crafts and cooking, or decorating my home, but what I really need to do is earn some money. I think part of my frustration is that I can't justify spending money on crafts until I earn some, and I can't decorate this house much because it's a rental and the colour scheme is not 'me' at all.
Kate
Kate, I'm right where you are...I'm really feeling like I am not getting things accomplished. I make a list, but rarely get to it....ugghhhh...I get the basics done, but even sometimes I just don't feel like doing that either.
I think a lot of it has to do with babysitting my niece 4 days a week and that just throws me for a loop...
How ironic! About 6 hours ago I was sitting here talking to my dear friend and neighbor about this very subject. When I worked full time, and on swing shift, I would manage to clean house, do laundry and prepare dinner for my family for that night - then go and pull another 8-12 hour shift and come home and start over the next day. Younger then and perhaps more energetic. But I believe when we are home we start one project and then go to another and yet another - and before you know if we get overwhelmed and don't know which task to focus on the most.
You are not alone...sweet Kate...not alone. I am smiling as I am writing this!
And typically I am NOT a procrastinator....just a big do'er.
hugs,
Becky
I spent a lot of time berating myself for slothfulness, laziness, doing nothing, despite the fact that there were good reasons for my inactivity. And recently, I've begun to realise how much I actually did accomplish during the "drought" years, and still, how much I do achieve, in fits and starts, not necessarily in a traditional linear fashion. Downtimes, slowtimes are fine, and are part of the natural way of operating for some of us. Take it easy. The time will come for activity again.
A candid and honest post. Thanks for writing it. I've had thoughts along similiar lines. Rather than go through all the details involved though, I'll just cut to my main theory.
I wonder if it's something all stay-at-home parents feel once their babies go to school? It's like you know there are a million things to do in the day, but without the kids keeping you on your toes - it's like you're waiting for someone else to press the motivation button.
My daughter is in her second year of school (grade 1) and I think at the end of last year it finally dawned on me that I was going to be the one pressing the motivation button from now on.
I get into a routine which really helps the motivation factor, but then my husband's roster changes or my daughter gets sick. Once my routine gets sidelined for being the mum and wife again, it's difficult to get back up.
I had a real yo-you period of forcing myself to be motivated and independent, only to be forced by life into being, "someone else needs me" mode.
I think I'm just starting to understand that this is what life will be like for a few more seasons. As my daughter gets older and understands the world more, I won't have to rush to her aid as often. I think I may even get used to the fluctuating routines of my husband's schedule.
All in all though, I think the loss of motivation comes from adjusting to "single" mode again - which constantly gets interrupted by the comings and goings of family members.
That's just my theory though. :)
It's really helped me by just practicing the single mode more and more. I can't switch off the mother and wife mode when it's required, but I also gave myself permission to invest in myself when the opportunity arises.
I love this post! As a stay at home mom of four boys, I put so much pressure on myself to "accomplish" so that I feel like I am productive doing my "job". That being said, I wish I could just sit once in a while and relax. With my type-A personality, relaxing is so difficult, as I tend to just sit and plan for all of the things I could be doing and will do as soon as I get up. Crazy!
I am happy I found you as your blog is lovely~
xo
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